Do you feel it is more difficult for an INFJ, or introverts in general, to obtain and retain employment?

Before landing my most recent job, I interviewed for months.

The experience was always the same.

Driving to the interview, I’d be rehearsing responses to whatever difficult questions I guessed might be asked.

Continue reading

Everything I do seems to fail. Even though I look on the bright side, it seems I’m no good at all. Makes me think the world would be the same if I didn’t exist. How do I get better even after trying extremely hard at everything?

A 22-year-old says, “Hey, I’ve fully tried every religion and philosophy there is. How come I can’t find Ultimate Reality or inner peace?”

Notice how on the Roadrunner cartoon the coyote only tries each costly contraption once. Continue reading

Why do I feel like an outsider and different from everyone else?

Society isn’t really that big on uniqueness. Yes, it claims to be; but really what it offers via culture and opportunity are prepackaged molds to fit and find success in (if you can).

Since we’re all always shown what success has to look like, we’re all busy searching for the best ways we can fit. Continue reading

How do you become more assertive?

It’s important to understand the difference between being assertive and aggressive.

Assertiveness isn’t a personality type, while aggressiveness is. Aggressive people are task-oriented extroverts; they’re energized by interacting with others, but what they care about are outcomes and bottom lines. That’s how they can be so fired up, blunt, and forceful, using intimidation to bend all circumstances to their whim.

Being assertive simply means being free to honestly present yourself and your thoughts exactly as you choose to. Continue reading

How do I measure my emotional intelligence (I’m in my 30’s)?

Emotional intelligence is really two things: one internal, and one relational.

First, emotional intelligence involves learning to really feel all of your emotions for exactly what they are; then the “intelligence” part comes from having the maturity/perspective to decide what you should do based on your emotions instead of just reacting to them. Continue reading