I don’t feel any love for myself. How can I fix this?

I think it’s important to realize you don’t hate yourself. If you did, you wouldn’t want to fix it. You’d be happy to see yourself hurt, failing, hopeless, rejected…

You might be really concerned about yourself.

Chances are you’re fixated on your [potential] flaws, and don’t generally see yourself as being any good. Specifics like your appearance, ways, voice, etc. might make you cringe whenever you notice them. Continue reading

If nobody understands you, are you insane?

Probably not.

You might sense an insurmountable gap between your inner world (with all its potential) and what others can currently understand or appreciate of it.

But the second half of knowing, thinking, and being (as a person) is learning to communicate; otherwise any treasures you find within yourself stay locked up and unknown. Continue reading

How can I accept my mistakes?

accepting-your-mistakesThere’s something in Psychology called the Ideal Self. It’s basically an image in your mind of the person you think you’re supposed to be.

Your Ideal Self speaks to you through the voice of your conscience. I say “voice” because its tone is never one of discussion or compromise. Your Ideal Self sits an infinite distance above, thundering down black-and-white judgments about all the ways you see yourself falling short of perfection. Continue reading

Why do I feel like an outsider and different from everyone else?

you-are-an-artistSociety isn’t really that big on uniqueness. Yes, it claims to be; but really what it offers via culture and opportunity are prepackaged molds to fit and find success in (if you can).

Since we’re all always shown what success has to look like, we’re all busy searching for the best ways we can fit.

Those that realize they’ll never fit are artists. No, I’m not talking about painters or sculptors; throughout history, artists have shaped our world and ideals in powerful ways simply by being true to their individual selves and perspectives. Continue reading

What makes someone assertive?

It’s important to understand the difference between being assertive and aggressive.

Assertiveness isn’t a personality type, while aggressiveness is. Aggressive people are task-oriented extroverts; they’re energized by interacting with others, but what they care about are outcomes and bottom lines. That’s how they can be so fired up, blunt, and forceful, using intimidation to bend all circumstances to their whim.

Being assertive simply means being free to honestly present yourself and your thoughts exactly as you choose to. Continue reading