I love the idea of parties . . . for me, an idealistic picture of inhibitions and daily stresses purged as a mass of beautiful humanity writhes together in collective bliss.
But I don’t do too well at actual parties, at least not indefinitely.
Years back, headed to a particular holiday function at work, I’m sure my demeanor could only have been described as giddy (if not outright chirpy), even droll.
I just remember so looking forward to amazing food and a few hours free from the usual fix of files, phones, and screens. Continue reading
Last time we looked at the “awareness” part of what you are.
Since awareness is unconscious, it can be subtle and easy to muddle until you understand how different aspects function and flow together.
It’s now time to smile and take an easy breather, for we’ve reached the part of personality that’s recognizable right away, both in yourself and others. Continue reading
To recap: If identity is who you think you are, then personality is what you actually are.
Can identity and personality be tested?
Well, there are countless qualities you could identify with; so the idea of an identity test seems nonsensical.
I’d be willing to bet you’ve taken a few personality tests in your time. Continue reading
I was 13, taking in a typical sunny Sunday afternoon from the backseat of my mom’s Toyota. I forget where we were headed.
I must have made some comment, because I remember my mom turning to me and saying with a grin, “Oh, you’re such a typical [insert zodiac sign]!”
I had no idea what that meant, so I asked.
She explained it was why I was the way I was, listing several of my common cares and points of focus to build her case. Continue reading
My identity crisis began at 14. I’ll try to describe it exactly as I would have at the time.
Before 14, there had been a few years of wonderful progress and growth. I’d moved to a new place with my family, made some really good friends, and fully immersed myself in martial arts.
During those good years, every possibility for the future had seemed to naturally weave itself in amongst this big, overarching plan for where I’d thought my life was going.
Then I turned 14. Continue reading
So, where are you at in life right now? What’s your experience like?
We’ve been looking at how you can take enough steps back to see your experience as a lifelong conversation between the parts of you that push to move you forward and the parts that pull to hold you back.
That conversation can get ugly at times. Certain voices tend to be ignored while others are always amplified. Many disagree.
But when you find ways that work for you to have the conversation publically, you eventually leave yourself with no choice but to take your own next steps toward the life you want. Continue reading
I spent most nights in 2014 desperately scrounging the web for conversations and information on addiction and self-improvement.
Back then, I felt like I was watching life slip through my fingers.
Yet in my frantic, haphazard quest, I was amazed to come across such a disproportionately large number of questions and discussions on sex addiction.
I’d be pacing through cartoon Yahoo! Answers avatars, scanning Q&A topics in searches for “addiction” that might read: sex . . . sex . . . marijuana . . . sex . . . meth . . . sex . . . masturbation . . . sex . . . porn . . . cocaine . . . sex… Continue reading
At 14, I got to visit Australia with my best friend and his family. For some reason, he and I decided it would be fun to use that trip to go on a stealing spree.
We began at the airport before we even left, swiping books and candy from little souvenir shops.
Every day of the trip, we’d walk to this nearby video store and fill our jackets with tapes and goodies. We must have looked so conspicuous. I mean, it was way too hot to be wearing those massive, heavy jackets. Besides, we were both over six feet tall, and the lifted contents puffed our jackets out so far we’d walk away nearly spherical. Continue reading
The term “Chasing the Dragon” is used in different ways. It might have originally referred to smoking opium from tinfoil where the smoke and substance move (resembling a dragon) as the user “chases” to inhale.
Years ago, a friend’s girlfriend and I loved to hang out and discuss our sordid histories with drugs. Our conversations usually took place after a few easy hits of weed, plus drawing pictures, laughing, and eating whatever we found in my friend’s kitchen.
During one such dialogue, I remember reminiscing about first-time experiences in warm environments filled with love and free from all consequences and judgment. I shared how drugs, along with a host of other adopted personas and lifestyle elements, had become for me a mission to recapture something dead. Continue reading
In recent decades, marijuana has been prescribed for medicinal purposes in state after state here in the US.
Recreational use has now been made legal in several states, and I see no reason for this trend not to continue.
But I’m not really writing to comment on state or federal marijuana laws; I just wanted to point out the overall trend toward legitimacy.
It seems weed is something we’re ready to believe we can trust ourselves with. Continue reading
In much of my writing on addiction and self-improvement, I delve deep into my own personal experience. My hope is to connect with and empower others who feel held back in similar ways.
But now I’d like to take a different tact. I’ll be sharing mostly from “the literature” about how to break free from the root pains and shame lurking at the core of entrenched addictions and other limiting behaviors. Continue reading
Have you ever been broken out of yourself?
Maybe you were pulled reluctantly into an unfamiliar sport, or perhaps pushed to speak up, step out, or otherwise participate in some new and adrenaline-rousing scenario.
Self-help seminars with motivational speakers are designed to break you out of yourself. Here’s how the experience might go:
Seated outside the venue in your parked car, you talk yourself through the likely process of making your way in, getting registered, and finding a seat.
You consider who you might run into on the way, hoping to exude an air of confidence as you approach and step through large double doors and down a narrow corridor. Continue reading
“Why does everyone else seem so happy, together, free…?”
“What do they all know that I don’t?”
“Am I the only one that…?”
Have you ever felt more real than the people you’re surrounded by?
It’s not that you feel superior or want to be celebrated; you just wish you could connect with others, but most seem forever preoccupied with superficial distractions you can’t help but find unimportant.
They seem to know just what to say, both in person and online, but it’s like they’re not really saying much of anything.
They react to each other in similar ways, making noises you recognize as laughter, shock, acknowledgment, glee…