Yesterday we talked about facing desire. Facing desire is an inward activity or awareness that involves as little extra outward action as possible.
Today we’ll start to see why inward awarenesses really can’t matter unless they lead to outward results.
Attitudes and perspectives are only proven by character and behavior.
In November, 2014, I got high and wrote:
“There’s no point knowing what to do if you never actually do it.
“I write all these notes to myself about how much I want to control my weed addiction. Somehow the addiction silences the truth of my written convictions.
“Something in me somewhere says, ‘Well, I’ll just get high today because I’m going to stop soon anyway. Ok weed, give me whatever you have for me.’
“Deep down, I want to be a better person. For me, that means wanting to control addiction, to finish my Facing Addiction story, to stop being so demanding all the time, to be more positive, to eat better, to read…
“What stops me (in any given moment) from being that person?”
The next day, I got high again and wrote:
“Regardless of how many times I tell myself to get better, all that matters is whether or not I actually get better.”
I wrote this a few days later (again, high):
“The way you act is a choice influenced by many factors.
“Generally, the way you act or react is determined by your state.
“Even the truest concepts and ideas can’t sink in enough to change your state if not directly connected to the outward realities you experience.
“For example, whenever I do manage to get high less, it seems to literally multiply my time: I see myself getting so much more done between highs, and then each high feels far more productive and enjoyable.
“There’s power in seeing inward motivations touching outward worlds.
“It doesn’t matter how many times you hear or see something true. It’s only as you see that truth impacting your real experience in an undeniable way (for long enough) that your behavior changes.”
Tomorrow: how to connect the inward reality of what you want, feel, and know to the outward reality of your experience and behavior; we’ll compare self-management to a method endorsed by motivational speaker, Tony Robbins.