Imagine you’re in a dark room. You hear familiar footsteps outside that make you shudder. You remember the last time that person came in and wouldn’t stop stomping on you.
Sure enough, they enter, you get crushed, and then the pain reminds you of your unseen assailant long after they leave.
In that scenario, you are your own heart. Continue reading
Worst-case scenario: You rub your parents the wrong way, you don’t see things as they do, they just say they love you because they feel they have to, and they’ll never really see or understand.
Sure, you could get depressed about that . . . but would it be worth staying depressed over? For how long? Continue reading
Anger can do two things—one harmful, one helpful—both of which bring you fully into the present moment.
Anger sets your focus on how you wish things were right now. It fuels itself on what you feel is unfair or wrong with your current situation.
But acting on that anger could conflict with what you want in the long run . . . especially if how things are right now isn’t ultimately that important.
Anger can also heighten your intuition and instincts. If you ever have to fight for anything in your career (or elsewhere), anger can be a great source of power to draw from.
So, should you be brought fully into the present moment?
When I was 10, I remember sitting one day at the end of a very long bench. Everyone else from my class was at the other end. It was a perfect picture of how I felt at the time: ostracized, unlikable, and basically no good. Continue reading
I don’t think we can choose what we believe; we believe whatever we’re convinced is true.
I’d like to share a perspective to hopefully help you continue on in your search for truth without causing conflict with your loved ones. Continue reading
Ok, the glib answer: nothing
You might accomplish enough wealth to protect yourself from all attacks and ridicule; but the only way to avoid being messed with then would be total isolation. And that would be messing with yourself more than anyone else ever could, because it’s impossible to live a worthwhile life completely disconnected. Continue reading
Here are three connected insights that have really helped improve my perspective. They all have to do with people and the value of relationships.
Personally, I could tinker away on projects for years sequestered alone in a room.
But why? Continue reading
There are two feelings of being in love.
First, you feel this all-encompassing rush of connection, attraction, and affirmation that sets you sailing for months.
You and your special someone seem to be floating high up on the clouds of your own private world. Continue reading
You can know a person enough.
You don’t have to trust anyone. In fact, trust isn’t really a choice—it must be earned to exist; and this happens by degrees.
You meet someone, you start to get to know them, you see where you connect, you share along those lines, trust grows, and your lines of connection naturally expand. Continue reading
You might sense an insurmountable gap between your inner world (with all its potential) and what others can currently understand or appreciate of it.
But the second half of knowing, thinking, and being (as a person) is learning to communicate; otherwise any treasures you find within yourself stay locked up and unknown. Continue reading
Human beings are beautiful.
Our minds and hearts each shine with a unique light that anyone who took the time to really get to know us would at least have to appreciate, if not love.
Yes, some relationships can be especially . . . interesting. Continue reading
It’s funny how we communicate with kids sometimes. But they get quite good at detecting whatever’s really behind our words.
Toddlers might enjoy the funny sounds we make as we coo and goo back at them in hyperbolic, positive reflection. But throughout childhood, kids are prone to recognize genuine affirmation for true talent displayed. Continue reading
I used to have this pen pal who lived far away. We’d send each other encouraging emails from time to time, and just enjoyed exchanging thoughts on life.
Then we agreed to talk by phone one Christmas night.
It was like suddenly the possibility of being “more than pen pals” donned on both of us at once; and what was communicated very indirectly (but in both directions) was: “Hey, are you feeling this too?” Continue reading
You probably can’t make yourself a whole lot less sensitive a person. In fact, there are benefits to being able to easily connect emotionally . . . but that’s not what this question is about.
To keep yourself from emotional attachment (to everyone), raise these two things: boundaries and standards. Continue reading
Everyone now has instant access to anyone all the time.
But attention is the new currency. Laser-focused, we’re highly intentional about what we’ll give our attention to.
My best friend could send me an article or video she absolutely loves; but I probably wouldn’t get to it unless it was something I too found interesting or valuable. Continue reading
My dad died last year. He had leukemia back in 2010, then GVH, and his health and life were never quite the same after that.
Now, no one would have ever described my dad as peaceful. Intimidating and insatiable, he was one to race through life in pursuit of whatever he wanted, leaving certain degrees of human wreckage in his wake. Continue reading
The whole world isn’t really against you; but important people in your world might be, perhaps by not affirming or supporting you in a direction you want to go.
Here are 2 steps of not reacting (how to do nothing): Continue reading
You get used to running all your own systems well.
You learn to fully take care of yourself, living completely on your own time.
A period of isolation can lead to valuable self-discovery; unaffected, you get a clear sense of exactly what you want to do, be, have…
Yet isolate yourself too long, and your mind and patterns start to set and petrify like concrete. Then, closed off and incontestable, you find yourself left with nothing to go on but what you’ve thought and learned before. Continue reading
Let’s look a little beyond the obvious (anyone who’s abusive or unsafe).
Worry about those who talk a lot but never listen . . . those who won’t ask about your deepest hopes and dreams. They might make ok bosses or family members (from a distance); but you could waste a lot of time trying to force the wrong people to care.
Worry about those who act like they’ve got you pegged before they get to know you. Their relationship won’t really be with you, anyway, but with some image they’ve preemptively fostered in their mind. You won’t be able to really show or tell them much of anything. Continue reading