Third Letter

And here’s another one:

Hi Kylie,

I thought of something the other day that made me laugh.

I keep wishing I could tell you.

It went like this:

I guess you know if you date a stoner when you’re a kid, one day he’s going to grow up, get high, and write you a long and inappropriate letter.

But that doesn’t seem funny now at all.

I’m sorry.

And I really wouldn’t…

I’d never want to make you feel uncomfortable.

What would I say?

Of course nothing could ever touch our special time.

For me, it’s snapshots from summer days and cold nights in-between.

Driving around.

The music.

My favorite was just all those silly little places we’d end up, living out our teenage fantasies (while acting so grown up).

Always way beyond our years, y’know?

Way more than now, anyway.

Oh, and our strange little gang, so beautifully . . . free, in everything.

Do you think kids now are the same?

Yeah, I finally moved back HERE, sort of like I always said.

But right away I started seeing all these weird connections.

I found this place’s version of you, definitely my favorite person HERE.

She’s the closest friend I’ve had these last few years.

Remember when I was taking bass lessons in Chusik with that orchestra guy?

Oh wait, no, that was after you…

Well, I picked up some lessons HERE recently, and the roads leading out to the teacher’s house are exactly the same as Chusik roads.

It feels like I’m going up and down those same quaint, old-timey hills again.

There’s a Milton HERE, and a Badie, and I’d say they fill pretty much the same roles yours did.

Of course no person could ever be replaced.

That’s not…

But I’ve known your opposites too, both THERE and HERE.

It took me forever to admit those types might always stay something of a mystery.

I like to think I know them.

But then it has to get pounded into me over and over how we’re really not speaking the same language.

I do respect those people.

I wonder why they do the things they do.

It hurts sometimes, not knowing.

Have you ever hoped someone you say you love won’t be your enemy once you’re finally able to…?

I guess you could see things a million ways, and still there’s no way to ever please everyone.

But anyone like you has always felt the most like home.

So then why did I treat you so bad, getting all mad and unpredictable?

I was a child to think you were anywhere near as complicated or distant as I could make you out to be.

If I’d only tried with you the way I do with those most unlike you . . . the ones who can’t actually appreciate it…

Well, that’s all for now.


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