How can I develop self-confidence and self-esteem?

The short answer: See yourself thriving or improving.

Much of how you’ll beat your low self-esteem depends on its cause. To keep things simple here, I’ll just look at two major causes—two areas where people tend not to feel like they’re good enough:

skills and people

When it comes to skills, low self-esteem could result from seeing yourself not being focused, not narrowing in on goals you believe would be worth reaching, not making progress at certain tasks, feeling like you’ve lost some ability or mindset you once had, feeling like you’re wasting time

I share about the time my self-esteem hit an all time low in terms of skills and progress here.

The good news is the natural talents you’re born with, which have a lot to do with how you see the world and what you care about, never go away.

Perhaps there’s nothing more frustrating than sensing you have those talents in you, but knowing you’re not really using or honing them.

But they can still be discovered at any time regardless of how you feel about yourself.

I’d recommend testing yourself with a range of different tasks related to your passions, perspective, and general core pursuits.

For example, if there was something you felt like you just had to show the world, you could test yourself with different methods of showing (writing, music, speaking, art, design…).

When you discover the unique points at which your individual perspective touches the specific talents you find yourself naturally able to do well in (I call those cross-overs your art form), you can literally watch yourself begin to live the kind of purposeful, fulfilling, exciting life you’ve probably always daydreamed about.

Now, if your self-esteem is low because of people in your life, that’s a little tougher.

You might tend to seek approval from the very people who will/can never actually give it, while ignoring approval from others eager to show the good they do see in you.

And it’s not like you can just kick everyone out of your life that makes you feel bad.

But the cool part about beginning to thrive in your art form (as described above) is that it automatically connects you with those who will not only affirm and appreciate the value they see in you, but will actually need the perspective you have to share as well.

When you start to connect with the right people, and you see yourself doing well and making a difference, then nothing anyone else says or does will bring you down or even affect you much at all.


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